My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
