he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
