Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
