Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
