she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
