so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
