yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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