i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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