Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
