I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish I only lived at night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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