Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
