Define "chronic" masturbator.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
