using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
