I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
