Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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