Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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