My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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