dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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