6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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