im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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