Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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