Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
well you can't waste a boner
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
