Your mouth is God's brothel.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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