I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
