I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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