I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
