Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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