Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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