I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
