Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
