she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have aggressive nipples.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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