Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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