man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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