My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You need a sexual gate keeper
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
