just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize