Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it's like heaven, but drunker
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize