We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Say something about gay babies.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize
