things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
