i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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