you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
