Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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