omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You can't special order awesome
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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