I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
