You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
