4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
