dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize