I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
