i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
