I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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