If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want to fling myself into the sun
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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