also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I didn't notice because vodka
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize