I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
