How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
