I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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