Nicole vs. Life
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize