Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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