I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
