I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
