omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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