hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Is it penis luge time yet?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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