In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize